New artwork: More Comic Book Muscle (Hulk, Spider-Man, Titans)

New artwork: More Comic Book Muscle (Hulk, Spider-Man, Titans).

Character actor Paul Gleason dies--Clarence Beeks, rest in peace.

Schoolhouse FARK

• The College Professor Drinking Game--"Every time I read a misspelled word, I chug a beer. For every kid who can't write a thesis statement, I take a shot of Jack [Daniels]. I figure I'll either go blind or die before this hell is over."
• "If you have never slept with someone of your same gender, then how do you know you wouldn't prefer it?"--Jeez, what kind of school survey is this?
• "A school was offered personalised knives to sell — days after tragic teenager Kiyan Prince was stabbed to death."

Weeeeeeeee!--No more drugs for that squirrel.

New story: The White Lord of the Jungle by cicero

New story: The White Lord of the Jungle by cicero

Did you know Pat Robertson can leg-press 2000 pounds?!--May God have mercy on his soles.

The Da Vinci Code--Meh. The book was better; less talky (and preachy) and certainly more enjoyable. The Catholic Church shouldn't have acted so defensively thus giving this flick so much free press. They, of all faiths, should've remembered the unrelenting temptation of Forbidden Fruit. Salon

• Albinos Condemn 'Da Vinci' Assassin
• Descended from Jesus?--Looks like I'm a son of God. And so are you.
• Da PVP Code

Which came first, the Chicken or the Egg?--From a Slashdotter: So the chicken and the egg are laying in bed together. The egg's smoking a cigarette. The chicken says, "Well, I guess we know the answer to THAT question!"

New Artwork: More Muscle Inflation

New artwork: More Muscle Inflation

The End of Sex?--"Pornography is changing the nature of physical affection"

Men on FARK

• Spanish women to get their own stud farm packed with hot stallions--The neighs have it
• Nude Dude Ranch opens in Arizona
• Butlers and boy love--You know you want to click it

Stone Golem--So much better than Michael Chiklis's Thing... uh, you know what I mean. [c/o Boing Boing]

New story: Little Friends 8 by MReyes8320

New story: Little Friends 8 by MReyes8320

AT&T and NSA documents unveiled--This is rich: "They finally did something you probably never thought the phone company would do. They listened."

Yahoo Messenger worm on the loose--I suppose it's just a matter of time the other IM clients are compromised, so do be careful.

Trojan Deletes Your Porn, Music & Warez--Everybody PANIC!

The Myth of Cybersexual Losers--Is online sex replacing the real thing?

So How Does Light Go Backwards?--Say what?

Turn your MacBook into a Jedi Weapon--Too geeky, even for me.

Star Wreck: In The Pirkinning--Watch the trailer of this parody produced by Finn film studes.

New story: The Mission 18 by Randy Dragon

New story: The Mission 18 by Randy Dragon

Sugar Baby Love--A well-done ad promoting safe sex. Here's the girl version. Salon

Military FARK

• HBO documentary could trigger stress disorder
• Mission "Unicorn" renamed--Dutch learned it was too ghey
• Hi-tech uniforms make infantrymen look "goofy"--I would have to agree.

Big boner--Bystanders get punk'd

New stories: From my latest contributor, Lloyd311

New stories: From my latest contributor, Lloyd311, author of one of my favorite stories, Eric.

• Brady Swap (mm body swap celeb oral)
• Mike (AR)
• Tommy (AR)

Jean Rohe: Why I Spoke Up--"Centrist" McCain gets New-Schooled

Who will FARK of the children?

• Running banned on Portland playgrounds
• Some Schools Are Leaving Recess Behind
• Disney Loses Its Appetite for Happy Meal Tie-Ins

10 Things I Hate About Commandments [c/o Boing Boing]

New artwork: Added some pics in the Comics album

New artwork: Added some pics in the Comics album (Superman, Spider-Man, Titans).

Stories I'm Reading:

• Desert Jackoff
• Future Brother-in-Law
• Green World

Dear NSA--"What should I get my wife for her birthday?"

HOWTO Fark.com

• How to use a compass without a compass
• How to grow your own digital marijuana
• How to get through having your identity stolen

The Skeletor Show--Watch if you've loads of time to waste

New artwork: Cartoon Muscle

New artwork: Six new Cartoon Muscle pics

How did San Francisco become so popular with gay people? [c/o Fark.com]

Paris Hilton wants a gay man--The question is: does any self-respecting gay man want Paris?

Got a Towel?--You might need one. [c/o Boing Boing]

King Tut's Penis Rediscovered--A mummified penis... leaves quite an indelible mental image.

David Armand mimes Natalie Imbruglia's Torn--Hope this won't be his only claim to fame.

Stories I'm Reading: High School life

Stories I'm Reading: High School life

• Farm Boy Rub Off
• Picture
• The Secret We Shared

10 eCard Sites To Stay Away From This Mother's Day

Religious City

• Catholic School Teacher Fired Over in Vitro Fertilization [c/o Fark.com]
• The 'Da Vinci' Goad--Controversy invites discussion, espouses denunciations
• My Problem with Christianism--Sully comes up with an apt label for the religious right
• What if God had a MySpace--He'd be smiting us just about now [c/o Fark.com]
• Loaded Bible--Holy spit!

Live on Saturday Night: President Al Gore!

New Artwork: Marc's Maxover

New artwork: The continuation of Marc's Makeover is finally here! Read Marc's Maxover.

The Oozinator--A toy every guy should have. Read the reviews. Thanks Wolfie!

Comics

• DC vs. Marvel--Illegally fun!
• Whose side are you on?--Marvel enters a Civil War
• 52 the Comic--Follow DC's year-long experiment week in and week out

Will you be a World Cup widow?--Germany's ain't the only country with balls.

New story: The Mission 17 by Randy Dragon

Stories I'm Reading:

• Altered Reality: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7
• A Deal's a Deal: 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 32
• Shift: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7

It's Warring with the Stars!

• Ryan vs. Dorkman--Fantastic fan-film
• Japanese cops vs. Darth Vader--And now with lightsabers!
• Star Wars vs. Star Trek--May you live long and Force be with you
• Classic vs. Re-mastered--The Original Trilogy strikes back
• Sci-fi video games vs. sci-fi flicks--Why games rule

Since it's Muscle Week and all, I thought I'd share my progress over the past five months. It's like living out, although at a much slower pace, my own muscle growth story. (Makes up for my not writing any new ones... not.)

New story: The Mission 16 by Randy Dragon

Stories I'm Reading:

• Chesty Blows Up: 1 | 2
• Of Mice and Carter: 1 | 2
• Tansley Prep School: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4

Finger Length Predicts Aggression in Men [c/o Fark.com]

Pesticides may affect penis size

It's a football thing